I did a bad thing.
A dumb thing.
I wanted to wash the nice fluffy pillow mattress topper that we keep on our bed. I know the tag says "dry clean only". But I'll tell you a secret: I wash many things that say "dry clean only". Only suits and wool coats actually make into my car and to the dry cleaners. Most other things... I just put them in the machine on gentle cycle, line dry and hope for the best. So many of my girls frilly dresses say "dry clean" only and seriously, I'm just not gonna do it. I've actually never run into a problem with this cheap...uh....lazy....uh..resourceful.... method.
As I shoved the mattress pad into the washing machine (while water filled the basin) I quickly realized I was on my way to a catastrophe. As soon as water came into contact with the pad, it began to expand. As it bloated before my eyes, I began to envision myself telling my husband that I had broken our washing machine trying to save $25 or however much it would have cost to just dry clean the dumb thing. I'm no mathematician, but $25 to save a $700 appliance? Yes. Worth it.
By the time I arrived at this genius conclusion, the pad was mostly soaked and rising like bread dough. I turned the water off and tried to pull the pad out of the machine. This was no easy task. It was exponentially heavier wet than dry. I finally freed the entire pad from the machine. Now what? I'm getting wet holding onto it but the concrete floor of my basement, where my laundry machines are hooked up, is no place to set a wet, white mattress pad. I resign myself to the fact that I shall be as soaked (but hopefully not as bloated) as the mattress pad and hug it to my body to keep from dragging it as I climb up the stairs. The best solution I could think of was a rope stretched across our garage, which we used to dry swim clothes in the summer. I drape the wet and now oddly lumpy pad over it.
Then I went back to the basement and hugged my washing machine and promised to never try another stunt like that again.
So now... I am the not-so-proud owner of a misshapen, lumpy and still dirty mattress pad. I've called a couple dry cleaners and they apparently, do not clean mattress covers. Hmph! Don't they know that the tag says "dry clean only"!!!
What should I do? My mattress is so... not fluffy. We should have all just stuck to making mattresses out of hay.