I had my first ultra sound today. Here is the adorable little one. You can already see a lot of family resemblance, huh?
Or maybe it just looks like a fuzzy gray blur.
But the fuzzy little blur had a good heart beat of 128. If you are one to put stock in old wives' tales, I think the heart rate is in the "boy zone" and it is true that our girls both had heart rates in the late 130s or early 140s. But I'm not shopping for blue clothes just yet!
Okay so I'll address the boy vs. girl issue now.
Seth would certainly really like a boy, and I do too. But I admit that I find the idea of raising a boy to be little bit intimidating. Not to say that raising girls is going to be a walk in the park. The truth is probably that both genders are equally difficult. In my mind, however; raising a boy to be good Godly man in 2010 America seems like a monumental task. I really don't want to sound overly critical but I am seldom impressed by young men on the brink of adulthood that I meet or know. Almost all are "soft" somehow and those that aren't are usually bullies. The balanced, hard working, masculine, compassionate, considerate, trustworthy, etc etc etc men are few and far between. I'm starting to feel judgemental and condescending in this line of thought so I'll stop!
When I do see a teenage young men possessing the characteristics I mentioned before, I think I compliment him (usually to his parents) to the point of embarrassment. And I want to ask them "HOW?" How did they do it!?
My friend Amy offered her perspective on raising boys... she said that in a way boys are "easier" since if they grew up to be just like their daddy she would be successful but should her daughters grow up to be just like her, she is not so sure it would be a good thing. (I disagree, Amy, by the way!)
So that thought comes into my mind as I consider if this new little person is a boy or a girl. I'm honestly happy either way. I figure, God will give us what he wants is to have. If He knows I couldn't turn out a good boy, He'd just give us girls.
Seth and I already have the agreement that any boys we have are mine through the toddler years and then I will figuratively hand them over to him. I just don't trust myself not to turn a boy into a sissy! So if a boy is in our future, I will have to practice looking the other way and biting my tongue as Seth will doubt have that kid maneuvering a knife and climbing high trees and doing all sorts of things that could result on my temptation to say something like "It's all fun and games until some one losses an eye!" Or some other motherly admonition.
And if the odds win out and we have another girl, I am totally happy with that too. And so is Seth. The truth is that I am still thrilled with all the girls accessories and pretty things that come along with girls. Sometimes I think having a boy would be helpful in the quest to get out the door on time. I look at my little nephews at church in their comfy outfits and lack of matching hair bows, tights, dressy shoes, and yes even the occasional purse my little girls tote along with them to church and I think AH... that looks easy. But then I look at my older nephews and see their crisp dress shirts and think IRONING!! LOTS and LOTS of ironing!! I may have a bunch of extras to keep track of for the girls but most of their clothes don't require ironing. So in the name of not ironing, I hope for another girl. ☺
As we left the ultrasound place, I thought it is kind of weird to have a little person inside me. Weird in a wonderful miraculous amazing way but still slightly weird. This little person who is independent and yet so completely dependent. It has its own heart beat and organ system and even though it is still only a few centimetres big, it has made it presence known all throughout my much bigger body. The little person setting up camp in there has made themselves right at home.
Oddly, I am already thinking about labor. I know... I have a looooooong way to go still. But in the words of Daffy Duck, "I don't like pain. I'm not like other people! Pain hurts me!"