Illness Denial

Have you ever been sick but in denial that you were sick? I mean you acknowledged that you had a fever and other symptoms but when you acted sick, you were in denial that illness could be the cause of your sleepiness, grouchiness, laziness or whatever?

I think I've been in sickness denial today.

About a month ago, I had the flu... like the real flu where you have a low fever for days, your body hurts all over and you seriously think the walk to the bathroom is just so so far and wish you could just have a bed pan or better yet a catheter... flu. And to make it extra fun, I had an ear infection too. I went to the urgent care and got an antibiotic that I knew didn't work well on me but the effort to even just tell the nice doctor to give me something else just was too much so I silently accepted the prescription and shuffled out the door. Although I got better, I don't think ever truly got 100% better. For weeks I've had about 5 pounds of yuckiness lodged in my chest and my little girls have been imitating me hacking and spitting gunk into the sink. No matter how many times I've explained that mommy only does that because she has to get the nasty stuff out, they think it's a wonderful new hobby around here. My ears and throat still have ached and those tell tale little glands on my throat swell every so often. But by Christmas, I thought I was surely almost recovered... like 92% all better.

Then this morning I woke up and felt like Mr. Flu was back with a vengeance. I helped the girls get ready for church, then crawled back into back and slept until 1 pm. Yup. 1pm. Please don't tell anyone. I'm embarrassed.

I'm also embarrassed by all this talk of health issues. Ugh. I hope I'm not turning into someone who gives a run down of my anatomy and all it's ailments when an innocent person asks "How are you?" Someone please tell me if I turn into that person! But really, this has been some flu season around here!!

After sleeping most of the day away, I woke up feeling guilty. I think my college days forever instilled in me the motto"Don't call in, CRAWL in". But I think everyone at church is tired of passing illnesses around so I'm sure I made the right choice to stay home. However illogical, laziness still makes me feel bad. See? Illness denial.

While still in a groggy state, my beloved called to ask if I wanted him to come get me so I could eat lunch at his parents with the family. I looked down at my PJs, ankle socks and sweater... none of which matched, and felt my matted, in desperate need of a washing, hair. Um... Seth must have been in illness denial too... denial of MY illness. I declined and have survived just fine on leftover spinach dip from Christmas. I lived on spinach dip for a good portion of my pregnancy with Eden. For some reason, it just sounds so good when I nauseated! Weird, I know.

After lying around more, only in the living room instead of my bed, I was thoroughly disgusted with my misuse of all the "free" time. I decided to play around with my new Photoshop Elements Program that Seth so generously bought me for Christmas. Um... I'm not getting the hang of it as quickly as I thought I would! Man, I wish I was smart. It must be so convenient to be smart. *sigh* After a half an hour, I was full of regret that Seth bought me this gift... a gift I've asked for for a long time, a gift he was so happy to give me.... And then I realize, Kayte you dunce. Why are you trying to learn something new when you're sick. Again, illness denial.

So now I'm restricting my activities to orange juice drinking, light reading and movie watching. "The Sound of Music" is on right now. I think that song could work well with my name inserted... "How do you solve a problem like Kay-teeeeee!?" I also think I could sing like those nuns. How come falsetto shrill, high voices are popular anymore? I really think I could bust out some serious nun-like singing when I my throat gets better.

I am feeling better and looking forward to seeing my girls when they come home from church. They had on really cute outfits - Christmas gifts- today. They are so cute. Sometimes you forget how cute your own kids are. While shopping yesterday, so many people commented on one or both the girls. They are so stinkin' adorable, if I do say so myself. What wasn't so adorable about shopping: wearing high heeled boots while walking around the mall pushing a stroller. What was I thinking? Ouch!