Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Bad Days. They Happen.

We all have them, don’t we? Things go wrong- that’s just part of life. What REALLY constitutes a bad day is when my reaction to those negatives reveals the flaws within myself. It’s not so much the burnt dinner that ruins an evening. It’s the frustration, tears and complaining that usually spew out of me afterwards.

Today, I was having a rough day. I am still not feeling well, and I tend to seriously use the ol “I’m sick” excuse for a bad attitude. We women (and I guess some men) are really good at using physical discomforts to justify a crabby mood, aren’t we? I woke up all stuffy and uncomfortable. I think I must have about 5 pounds of mucus lodged in my chest, throat and sinuses. You’re thrilled to know that, aren’t you? Sorry.

With a 3 yr. old and a 19 month old, first thing in the morning is not a quiet serene calm time of day to slowly rouse oneself. They woke up whining and wanting Daddy, who is not here and is only here on Sunday morning but 6 days a week we go through the same ordeal of explaining that Daddy is at church. There are soggy diapers and pull-ups, usually a wet bed or two, changes of clothes, demands for breakfast, demands for sippy cups, finding the lost valve on the sippy cup, explaining to Maddie why we cannot use the same beloved cup every day, negotiations over which color bowl which girl will get, etc etc etc. By the time Maddie declared her belly was too full to finish her bowl of Cheerios… after eating 2 puny bites… after dramatically exclaiming that she “ver-wee ver-wee hungweee”… I was out of patience. Instead of pulling them out of their early morning crankiness, I decided to join them in it.

Grouchiness prevailed all morning long… I would describe my terse behavior but it’s too embarrassing. After a few hours, toys were everywhere and we were all still in our jammies. Over the course of the morning, a half full mug of tea was spilt and my cereal bowl was knocked off the counter and shattered. I was getting uglier and uglier with each passing moment and then... my unsuspecting wonderful husband called me… something I usually enjoy. But with the girls acting up as soon I as was distracted from them by a phone call, I wasn’t exactly the breath of fresh air he might have been hoping for. He was calling to let me know about funeral calling hours that afternoon. So my choices are to a. get all dressed up, which would require actually taking that much needed shower, drive about 45 minutes and try to squeeze a “I’m so sorry for your loss” in between my mucus filled coughing spells or b. stay home all day long with no car with a disaster zone of a house and two very disobedient children? As you can tell, my attitude wasn't exactly a reflection of all those hundreds of Godly wife classes and sessions I have sat in over the years.

I’ll pause here to say that when ever my kids have obedience issues, I get so flustered and upset by them… and at them. When truly, whose fault is it?? Mmmm hmmmm. M.I.N.E.

After hanging up with Seth, I began to really feel like a big fat louse. I hate being curt to him. I hate myself with I am that way. At that point, I decided that mommy needed a time out. So I gave in to putting a movie on for the girls and secluded myself in the office for a while with a bag a peanut butter M&Ms.

I am amazed by what happened next. While the girls watched happy little seals on the DVD, I went to my blog dashboard. Of all things, the two blog posts I came across in my reading list first were these:

Journal for Women: Please Join Me in Failing

Daily Pleasures: My Resignation

Apparently, there has been a bad day epidemic! Somehow it was comforting to know that a couple of women that I admire also fall victim to the occasional BAD DAY. Well I guess they are human after all. And I sure am too!

I hesitated to describe my morning because I don't want to my blog to turn into a "whine-fest" and I don't want to be guilty of verbal birth control (I defined that in my very first post if you're confused). But the majority of my readers know me in "real" life and have seen my short coming face to face. There's no point in pretending I'm perfect. Or even close. So I shared with you my morning in it's raw, unattractive glory.

After reading these two posts, I thought, Okay, Kayte. It's been a rough start. But don't do when you tend to so: let a bad morning equal a bad day. Start again now. This time, with the Lord on your mind and a smile on your face. Change the tone in your voice and for Pete's sake, take a shower, girl! =) Just for your info, I am usually showered and dressed by that point every day... something about being sick and grouchy makes me want to stay in cozy jammies all day I guess!

So the girls and I got clean, dressed and attacked our messy living room. In actuality, the house wasn't exactly a disaster zone after all. By the time Seth got home, the atmosphere was much improved. We ended up all going for the drive out to the funeral home since it was a beautiful sunny day, a treasure not to be wasted in wintery Upstate NY. The girls dozed off in their seats so I stayed in the van listening to Christmas music while Seth went in to visit with the family. We had a nice quiet drive home and were able to talk while the girls' slept. My mom came over for dinner, as is our usual Tuesday night custom, then she baby sits for an hour or two while Seth and have a date. We almost always go to Barnes and Nobles, get a couple of ridiculously expensive drinks: Mocha Latte for him and Chai for me. This week, he grabbed a revolutionary war book and I snagged Elizabeth Elliot's' Let Me Be A Woman. I love it!!! I read through about a third of it on our date and it's officially on my "Books I want To Buy" list. Elizabeth Elliot has such a beautiful writing style. It was profound and yet so simple. Can't wait to read the whole thing.

So the day was saved... just as I am saved. By the Lord and His Grace.


Mrs. Julie Fink said...

You are a precious Christian lady! I love Elizabeth Elliot's writings too ~ "Let Me Be A Woman" is one of my all time favorites.

Mrs. Reverend Doctor said...

I definitely had one of those days today...counting down to the start of Preschool!