The Church Vacuum

Ring! Ring!

I dig around in my massive purse for 5 minutes to locate my cell phone. I see on the caller ID that it's my sister in law, Tara.

"Hi Tara; how are you?"

"Good, Kayte. How are you?"

Even if we had just seen each other 30 seconds before, we would still feel compelled to go through this greeting tradition. I used to go to a church where a sort of odd guy would ask you how you were every time he walked into the same room as you. So on any given Sunday morning, he would have inquired about your well being at least 7 times. It was a mix of funny and creepy.

Anyway... back to Tara and my phone conservation.

I hear Tara asking what kind of vacuum the church owns. I figure (in my brilliant skill of reasoning) that she is cleaning the church this week and is buying a replacement bag for the vacuum.

"Oh goodness... I'm having trouble remembering the brand right this second." I say while pounding the temple of my head in an effort to jar my memory. I walk over to Seth, thinking that he will know. "Seth, it's Tara and she needs to know what kind of vacuum is at the church. It's on the tip pf my tongue but it's just not coming to me... do you remember what it is?"

Seth instantly answers, "It's a Eureka."

"Oh no! It's definitely NOT a Eureka! I can't remember what brand it is, but I KNOW it's not a Eureka."

"It's a Eureka."

I'm half grinning as I go back to speaking to Tara, "Tara, why do men think they are always right?" Seth is laughing at me because we've been down this road before... not about the church vacuum, but in other incidences when I KNOW I am right and he KNOWS he is right.

Suddenly, I remember that the vacuum is a Riccar. "Oh, now I remember! It's a Riccar! Yes! That is it! And you get bags at the House of Vacuums on the Boulevard!"

Seth, shaking his head, "It's a Eureka."

Now, my hands on my hips (as if that makes my words more potent), "Honey, WHO goes to buy replacement bags? I do! I know it's Riccar. R-i-c-c-a-r."

For the next few minutes Tara hears Seth and I going back and forth about the vacuum brand. "Riccar!" "Eureka!" "Riccar!" "Eureka!"

It was something like that scene in Sleeping Beauty where the plump little fairies argue over the color of Aurora's dress and pink and purple go splashing through the sky.

We are a model assistant pastor and assistant pastor's wife, aren't we? Arguing right on the phone over the brand of the church vacuum. Impressive, huh? Okay really, we were both laughing hysterically. I guess it's because we agree on just about everything so we actually have fun arguing when there is actually something over which to argue . Weird, right?

But since I had the phone, it gave me a real advantage.

"Tara, I'm telling you: it's a Riccar. I'm absolutely positive."

"Well that is great. But I just wanted to know WHERE the vacuum was."

Now I am laughing so hard I'm actually lying down and howling. I'm sure my poor sister in law's ear drums were ringing and she must have been wondering what kind of physcotic family she is married into.

Seth and I both are in agreement that the vacuum is in office closet.

As Tara went to the office to retrieve the vacuum, I just couldn't help myself.

"Tara, what brand it is, anyway?"

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In honor of Valentine's Day and all the mushy gushy posts floating around in the Land of Blogs, this is what I consider a dose of marriage reality. Even so, it is romantic to me... in a way. Because 1. making up is fun and 2. there is no one else I'd rather fight over vacuum brands with than Seth.

Wait... that didn't come out right.

Love,

Disclaimer:

Please do not attempt this at home. No feelings were harmed in the making of this post. The names of the innocent have not been changed to protect their identity. Not valid in the state of Utah.