Lessons from the Womb

My husband brought these portions of Scripture to my attention.

Ecclesiastes 11

5 As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.


Psalm 139

13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

Truly, the chapters in their entirety are well worth reading (what part of the Bible isn't?!), but I just included some key verses in this post.

As Seth and I discussed Ecc. 11:5, we found ourselves amazed at the fact that the child in my womb now, and every child who has ever been in the womb (which, in case you're slow today, would be all of us) is actually a work of God.

Wow.

I have read everything I can get my hands on regarding pregnancy and the development of a baby. And the conclusion I (and I believe many) have come to: no one can really explain exactly how and why a baby transforms from a few tiny cells into a small little person. Sure, they know what cells are required, what role hormones play and at what point different events occur in the process. But what makes those cells divide in just that way? How does a woman's body communicate within itself to make provision for a new life? What makes that itty bitty heart spontaneously start to beat all on it's own? How do the eyes end up in just the right spot? Why does it always take the same amount of gestation, within a matter of days or weeks, for a baby to form?

There is only one answer.

It's baffling to ponder. Our God is so creative. (Maybe that's why we call Him "Creator"?) Who else could take the same basic elements... eyes, nose, lips, ears, skin... and make millions and millions of humans with those same items and yet each one be unique.

As I think more about the fact that my baby, and every baby, is a work of God, I felt a new sense of sadness, and even a bit of indignation when people choose, or rally for the right to choose, to disrupt God's work. I think most, if not all, of my readers see the tragedy in aborting a baby so I won't belabor the topic.

Then God smote my heart with the thought I can be guilty of interrupting God's work as well. I've never stepped foot in or near an abortion clinic, but is it possible that I have aborted God's working in my heart... in the heart of another? Have I ever failed to respond to the Holy Spirit's prompting to share the Gospel message with someone who needed it? Is it possible that my words or actions, or lack or words and actions, hindered the creation of a new life in Christ? Do I have spiritual aborted babies somewhere?

Sobering thoughts.

Looking at Ps. 139, I think verse 14 is most commonly know and quoted. And it is a beautiful verse... and a convicting one when our insecurities over physical imperfections get the better of us. But I really love verse 13.

13For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

To me, whom you surely know by now, is not a Bible scholar or expert, this verse speaks of God's direction and protection. His providence.

I want God to possess my reins. I want Him to make gentle gestures or instructions and I instantly obey. Is this always the case? You know the answer to that... because if you asked yourself, it would also be "no".

Like defiant horses bucking against the bit in their mouth, we pridefully think we know better. Our way is the only way we are interested in.

I've decided there is tremendous security in simply trusting and obeying... in letting God possess my reins. I remember being a young adult facing all the important decisions young adults face: what to do after high school, what path to pursue, who to date, who to marry, etc etc. I felt so frustrated with the choices I faced that I would joke that I wish we were all born with a tag secured to our ankle... like some old baby dolls I had... with their name and occupation written on them. I would have like my tag to have my future spouse's name on it. No choices to make. To options to weigh. Just look down at your tag and do as it says. Easy... and safe.

It is not always that clear cut, of course. But I do see now that decisions where not as complicated as I made them. The more I heed God's prompting, the easier it is for me to hear it.

I'm grateful for the "work of God" in my womb at this moment. I'm grateful that God has had plans and an interest in her before I even knew she was there!

Love,

Pumpkin Patch Cupcakes!

It's October! We're inching closer and closer to the holiday season, which of course translates to.... baked goodies!!! =)

I saw this idea in a magazine recently... though I don't remember which magazine! Between weekly doctor's appointments and weekly ultrasounds, I sit in waiting rooms and flip through magazines a LOT these days!

Maddie and I had a fun time (and it did take TIME... seems like we worked on them off and on all day!) making these for the kids at school.

A box of Duncan Hines yellow cake (I personally think Duncan Hines is the BEST), two tubs of pre-made vanilla frosting (one dyed green, one dyed orange) and 2 dozen donut holes. Plus sprinkles... Maddie would be so sad if we hadn't used sprinkles!

To make the orange frosting smooth over the pumpkins, just microwave for about 30 seconds after mixing in the food coloring. I tossed a donut hole in, rolled it around and fished it out with a toothpick. The cover the hole made by the toothpick with a butterscotch chip. I set them in the fridge to set up while putting the "grass" and fall sprinkles on the cupcakes. After the orange coating is firm, pipe green vines on the pumpkins and plop them on the cupcake.

My official taste tester seemed to like them!

A few days ago Maddie rather seriously and factually informed me that Dad was just better than me. But as we made these, I was smitten by the words "You're the best mommy of all the mommies". ♥

Cupcakes. They do more than create cavities. ☺

Love,

Thank you BUT...

Thank you to anyone who has ever told me that I look like I swallowed a:

But I must tell you that I actually feel like I swallowed:

A 7ft 1 in. 340 lb. basketball player.

Though I don't think the one in my belly is bald... or black for that matter.

Love,

We're home now from my husband's grandmother's funeral. Both Seth and I were surprised by how emotional we were during the service and burial. I guess I (and I think Seth as well) had been looking at his grandmother's passing as more of a happy event than a sad one, simply because she had been very much looking forward to Heaven for the last decade of her life. It was all she talked about... and we really are glad for her to enjoying all that was waiting for her. But today I was reminded again that tears come for many reasons, not just pure sadness. I'm not even sure I could explain some of the tears that passed between us today. I know that the recent death of Seth's mom surely contributed... being in the same funeral home, seeing our church filled with flower arrangements again, being at the same cemetery again, only one month later. It all reminded me, and I'm sure many of the other moaners today, of someone who still seems oddly missing. Looking at Grandma Berg's 3 other children standing together, it seemed as though Christine could have just been standing behind someone taller than her, or finding a place in the background to blend in as she was so good at doing. But the reality is that she was not there. She was not there crying with us... she is on the other side, part of Heaven's welcome committee.

Someone joked that Christine must have spent this past month in Heaven lobbying for her mother's release from the bonds of this earth. And I can imagine Grandma Berg's surprise when she arrived to find her daughter already there! "How'd you get here first?" I can hear her saying. =)

I have news about funerals and calling hours: it's exhausting. If you've never experienced them before, I'm just informing you. My family in California did not follow the same traditional funeral protocol that we do here in New York, so I had never experienced it before and therefore did not know what to expect. So in case you, like me, did not know, now you do: by the time it's all said and done, the family members are totally spent.

Maybe it is the fatigue or maybe I am in a pessimistic frame of mind, but today I feel as though life is a series of knowing people, loving people, and burying people. If Seth and I live a typical life span, we will spend the next 50 to 60 years, doing those three things over and over again. I sat in the church today, looking around at people around me and thought, You could be next. I could be next. Either I'll bury you, or you'll bury me. There will be more burying though. Sometimes, and it's been the case lately thankfully, we know the person lying in the casket had accepted Christ as Saviour and were in Heaven. And that is good. Sometimes, sadly, we don't know and they might be in Hell. And that is bad. In both cases, though, the rest of us stay here, and repeat the process of knowing, loving and burying.

I really do not think this is all morbid negativity... maybe it's just part of growing up (can I still be "growing up" at 26 yrs. old?) and accepting mortality. The mortality of others and myself, and the fact that life truly is fragile. It's a cliche but it's a true one. Life is fragile and not to be taken for granted. Life is precious.

Along with the grim thoughts, I have also been overwhelmingly grateful today. Grateful to my husband's grandmother and to the God who saved her and directed her steps. It's baffling to think about the effect one person can have on so many. I know that each of her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and many other people who were touched by her life could probably tell better than I of how important she was. But for myself, it think it's amazing how a girl born in 1921 in Utica, Ny, who trusted Christ as Savior in 1942 would influence the life of a girl born in 1983 in Southern California. How did she influence me? She was instrumental in her husband's conversion, who then helped her to raise 4 children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The third child in that family grew up with a firm Christian foundation, and then married a preacher and had a family with him. The youngest child in that family, who was strikingly handsome, I must add, grew up in a godly home and was taught the Bible and it's truths every day. He then met the girl from all the way across the country and lost his mind long enough to marry her. Grandma Berg did not really know me, or usually remember that I was Seth's wife when we visited her. But by virtue of the fact that my husband has a goodly heritage, and therefore so do my children, I am so grateful to her.

"For the hand that rocks the cradle - Is the hand that rules the world" - William Ross Wallace

Never underestimate the power of a godly mama. =)

What could be more precious
than Grandma's special love?
She always seems to know the things
That we are fondest of.
She's always ready with a smile
Or a loving word of praise,
Her laughter always brightens up
The cloudiest of days...
She has an understanding heart
that encourages and cheers.
The love she gives so freely
Grows deeper with the years.
Her wisdom and devotion
are blessings from above-
Nothing could be more precious
than Grandma's special love.

Love,

Sneak peekin' at the baby girl...

Here she is!

She's expected to arrive in about 3 wks but she already measures 7 lbs. 8 oz.s I think I'm in trouble!

But I'm loving the chubby cheeks! My older girls were in the 6 lb. range and were long and SKINNY! Even though they were not, preemie outfits fit them well for a couple of weeks. Maybe this girlie will actually wear newborn or 0-3 mo. size right from the start? Hmm... time to re-consider the going home I have packed for her...

From the joy of new life on Earth, on to the joy of new life in Heaven: My husband's sweet grandma went to be with Jesus this morning. She was probably so surprised to see her daughter, Christine, welcoming her at those pearly gates! I'm sure they are having a wonderful time there together today.

Love,

Today...

...marks one month since Seth's mom, Christine went to Heaven.

Parts of me can not believe it has been that long, while parts of me look back at the week before her death, a stressful 10 days in the hospital not knowing exactly what was going on or what was about to happen, as a distant blur from a life time ago. There are still moments when all I can think is "Is she really gone? Really??" Looking at pictures of her, I remember her vitality. Her strength. Time may make me eat these words, but I honestly believe that I will never again take for granted how long we have one another. God really does order our days and when He says they are up, they are up. Regardless of young, regardless of how important, regardless of how loved. It's all in His hands. And that is just where I want it to be.

A few days ago, Seth let me know that his mother's mother, Grandma Berg was not doing well. By the time I joined the McCoy family, Grandma Berg was frail and confined to her apartment, but still able to converse and share stories from earlier in her life. She almost always told me about the day she sent her husband off to World War II. Grandma Berg's sweet, weathered face lit up with animation as she recalled how she clung to him and begged him not to leave her. It really was a romantic anecdote, and since he did return and raise a family with her, it had a happy ending. Occasionally, I see a "Grandma Berg grin" on Eden's face... bright eyes accompanied by a slanted smile with indications of a goofy thought running through her head. Even in these past few years living in the nursing home, Grandma could be so silly at times. She is 89 yrs. old, and though she may not remember people or events well, she has remembered her sense of humor, and she has never stopped talking about the Lord.

One thing anyone who spends anytime talking to Grandma Berg knows is that her heart is in Heaven. Her husband, that same one she clung to all those decades ago, went to be with the Lord 10 yrs. ago, and Grandma Berg has been looking forward to joining him there ever since. Sometimes, I wonder if it seems strange to other people how freely and even bluntly Grandma Berg expresses her desire to be in Heaven. It seems perfectly normal to us, maybe because we're used to hearing her speak of it at every chance, but also because we know that she has laid up her treasures in Heaven. She has much to look forward to there. She has a Savior Who will welcome her and embrace her. She will get to see the King of Kings face to face. And of course, her husband and Christine will be there as well.

I lay awake a lot these days when I wish I were sleeping. Last night, as I waited for much needed sleep to come, I thought of my husband's grandmothers. He has been blessed with an amazing, godly heritage on both sides of his family tree. Both of his grandmothers had tremendous roles in the Christian upbringing from which Seth, his siblings and cousins benefited. Grandma Berg is known by many for her consistent stand for the Lord. She prayed for others and was a pillar in her church.

Yesterday, I took these pictures as Seth visited with her. She seemed to be sleeping, or in a morphine haze, but when Seth clasped her hand, she closed her fingers around his.

Today, she is unresponsive and has been put on oxygen. Please pray for her physical comfort. It has been an emotional month and a half for our family, but I think I can boldly say that her home going to the Lord will be cause for rejoicing, even if through a few tears of sadness.

Love,

Pictures of recent going on's...

My girls at church last Sunday
Eden administering some rather rough diaper changes to all her "babies".

The girls, along with their buddy, Lexi after their very first Sunday School class.
(Can you tell that Maddie likes her "new" coat? Won't take the thing off! It was a great garage sale find!)

I think she had fun! =)

And the belly.
(Amy, do you see your print in the background? ♥)

Love,