Thank you BUT...

Thank you to anyone who has ever told me that I look like I swallowed a:

But I must tell you that I actually feel like I swallowed:

A 7ft 1 in. 340 lb. basketball player.

Though I don't think the one in my belly is bald... or black for that matter.

Love,

We're home now from my husband's grandmother's funeral. Both Seth and I were surprised by how emotional we were during the service and burial. I guess I (and I think Seth as well) had been looking at his grandmother's passing as more of a happy event than a sad one, simply because she had been very much looking forward to Heaven for the last decade of her life. It was all she talked about... and we really are glad for her to enjoying all that was waiting for her. But today I was reminded again that tears come for many reasons, not just pure sadness. I'm not even sure I could explain some of the tears that passed between us today. I know that the recent death of Seth's mom surely contributed... being in the same funeral home, seeing our church filled with flower arrangements again, being at the same cemetery again, only one month later. It all reminded me, and I'm sure many of the other moaners today, of someone who still seems oddly missing. Looking at Grandma Berg's 3 other children standing together, it seemed as though Christine could have just been standing behind someone taller than her, or finding a place in the background to blend in as she was so good at doing. But the reality is that she was not there. She was not there crying with us... she is on the other side, part of Heaven's welcome committee.

Someone joked that Christine must have spent this past month in Heaven lobbying for her mother's release from the bonds of this earth. And I can imagine Grandma Berg's surprise when she arrived to find her daughter already there! "How'd you get here first?" I can hear her saying. =)

I have news about funerals and calling hours: it's exhausting. If you've never experienced them before, I'm just informing you. My family in California did not follow the same traditional funeral protocol that we do here in New York, so I had never experienced it before and therefore did not know what to expect. So in case you, like me, did not know, now you do: by the time it's all said and done, the family members are totally spent.

Maybe it is the fatigue or maybe I am in a pessimistic frame of mind, but today I feel as though life is a series of knowing people, loving people, and burying people. If Seth and I live a typical life span, we will spend the next 50 to 60 years, doing those three things over and over again. I sat in the church today, looking around at people around me and thought, You could be next. I could be next. Either I'll bury you, or you'll bury me. There will be more burying though. Sometimes, and it's been the case lately thankfully, we know the person lying in the casket had accepted Christ as Saviour and were in Heaven. And that is good. Sometimes, sadly, we don't know and they might be in Hell. And that is bad. In both cases, though, the rest of us stay here, and repeat the process of knowing, loving and burying.

I really do not think this is all morbid negativity... maybe it's just part of growing up (can I still be "growing up" at 26 yrs. old?) and accepting mortality. The mortality of others and myself, and the fact that life truly is fragile. It's a cliche but it's a true one. Life is fragile and not to be taken for granted. Life is precious.

Along with the grim thoughts, I have also been overwhelmingly grateful today. Grateful to my husband's grandmother and to the God who saved her and directed her steps. It's baffling to think about the effect one person can have on so many. I know that each of her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and many other people who were touched by her life could probably tell better than I of how important she was. But for myself, it think it's amazing how a girl born in 1921 in Utica, Ny, who trusted Christ as Savior in 1942 would influence the life of a girl born in 1983 in Southern California. How did she influence me? She was instrumental in her husband's conversion, who then helped her to raise 4 children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The third child in that family grew up with a firm Christian foundation, and then married a preacher and had a family with him. The youngest child in that family, who was strikingly handsome, I must add, grew up in a godly home and was taught the Bible and it's truths every day. He then met the girl from all the way across the country and lost his mind long enough to marry her. Grandma Berg did not really know me, or usually remember that I was Seth's wife when we visited her. But by virtue of the fact that my husband has a goodly heritage, and therefore so do my children, I am so grateful to her.

"For the hand that rocks the cradle - Is the hand that rules the world" - William Ross Wallace

Never underestimate the power of a godly mama. =)

What could be more precious
than Grandma's special love?
She always seems to know the things
That we are fondest of.
She's always ready with a smile
Or a loving word of praise,
Her laughter always brightens up
The cloudiest of days...
She has an understanding heart
that encourages and cheers.
The love she gives so freely
Grows deeper with the years.
Her wisdom and devotion
are blessings from above-
Nothing could be more precious
than Grandma's special love.

Love,

Sneak peekin' at the baby girl...

Here she is!

She's expected to arrive in about 3 wks but she already measures 7 lbs. 8 oz.s I think I'm in trouble!

But I'm loving the chubby cheeks! My older girls were in the 6 lb. range and were long and SKINNY! Even though they were not, preemie outfits fit them well for a couple of weeks. Maybe this girlie will actually wear newborn or 0-3 mo. size right from the start? Hmm... time to re-consider the going home I have packed for her...

From the joy of new life on Earth, on to the joy of new life in Heaven: My husband's sweet grandma went to be with Jesus this morning. She was probably so surprised to see her daughter, Christine, welcoming her at those pearly gates! I'm sure they are having a wonderful time there together today.

Love,

Today...

...marks one month since Seth's mom, Christine went to Heaven.

Parts of me can not believe it has been that long, while parts of me look back at the week before her death, a stressful 10 days in the hospital not knowing exactly what was going on or what was about to happen, as a distant blur from a life time ago. There are still moments when all I can think is "Is she really gone? Really??" Looking at pictures of her, I remember her vitality. Her strength. Time may make me eat these words, but I honestly believe that I will never again take for granted how long we have one another. God really does order our days and when He says they are up, they are up. Regardless of young, regardless of how important, regardless of how loved. It's all in His hands. And that is just where I want it to be.

A few days ago, Seth let me know that his mother's mother, Grandma Berg was not doing well. By the time I joined the McCoy family, Grandma Berg was frail and confined to her apartment, but still able to converse and share stories from earlier in her life. She almost always told me about the day she sent her husband off to World War II. Grandma Berg's sweet, weathered face lit up with animation as she recalled how she clung to him and begged him not to leave her. It really was a romantic anecdote, and since he did return and raise a family with her, it had a happy ending. Occasionally, I see a "Grandma Berg grin" on Eden's face... bright eyes accompanied by a slanted smile with indications of a goofy thought running through her head. Even in these past few years living in the nursing home, Grandma could be so silly at times. She is 89 yrs. old, and though she may not remember people or events well, she has remembered her sense of humor, and she has never stopped talking about the Lord.

One thing anyone who spends anytime talking to Grandma Berg knows is that her heart is in Heaven. Her husband, that same one she clung to all those decades ago, went to be with the Lord 10 yrs. ago, and Grandma Berg has been looking forward to joining him there ever since. Sometimes, I wonder if it seems strange to other people how freely and even bluntly Grandma Berg expresses her desire to be in Heaven. It seems perfectly normal to us, maybe because we're used to hearing her speak of it at every chance, but also because we know that she has laid up her treasures in Heaven. She has much to look forward to there. She has a Savior Who will welcome her and embrace her. She will get to see the King of Kings face to face. And of course, her husband and Christine will be there as well.

I lay awake a lot these days when I wish I were sleeping. Last night, as I waited for much needed sleep to come, I thought of my husband's grandmothers. He has been blessed with an amazing, godly heritage on both sides of his family tree. Both of his grandmothers had tremendous roles in the Christian upbringing from which Seth, his siblings and cousins benefited. Grandma Berg is known by many for her consistent stand for the Lord. She prayed for others and was a pillar in her church.

Yesterday, I took these pictures as Seth visited with her. She seemed to be sleeping, or in a morphine haze, but when Seth clasped her hand, she closed her fingers around his.

Today, she is unresponsive and has been put on oxygen. Please pray for her physical comfort. It has been an emotional month and a half for our family, but I think I can boldly say that her home going to the Lord will be cause for rejoicing, even if through a few tears of sadness.

Love,

Pictures of recent going on's...

My girls at church last Sunday
Eden administering some rather rough diaper changes to all her "babies".

The girls, along with their buddy, Lexi after their very first Sunday School class.
(Can you tell that Maddie likes her "new" coat? Won't take the thing off! It was a great garage sale find!)

I think she had fun! =)

And the belly.
(Amy, do you see your print in the background? ♥)

Love,

Have ya missed me? =)

I have been a very negligent blogger lately. I have excuses, eh uh... reasons. You're dying to hear them, aren't you?

1. Obviously, my mother in law's passing has changed our lives. While I do have lots of thoughts running through my head, I have felt it better to keep most of them private.

2. I am, in case you forgot, 36 wks. pregnant. This translates to tired.

3. Busy busy beavers we are! School has resumed, we've been in the midst of a two week revival meeting, which has actually been extended for another half week, I have lots of laundry, dishes, cleaning, doctor's appointments, etc etc etc.

4. My computer chair is uncomfortable. I think truth be told, this is the number one reason for my absence. I have zero desire to sit at my computer, when normally I find it relaxing and (being totally honest) am prone to spend more time here than I should. But this non-padded dinning chair is just not where I choose to relax in my present pregnant state. And so when I do have an evening (or afternoon) free, I gravitate toward the comfy couch, where I inevitably doze off. (See #2).

So there you have it. And you know what I have discovered in my blogging vacation? You, and I both did just fine without a daily blab fest. *sigh*

The girls are napping away at the moment. We're transitioning Eden out of the crib and into a twin sized mattress in Maddie's room. Madison is thrilled to have Eden's company; she has long complained of being lonely in her room. Eden teeters between liking her new bed (mostly because it is pink and she loves pink), and craving the familiarity of her crib. But that crib will soon have another occupant. I have a suspicion that Eden's feelings toward the new baby will also be a mix of glee and wonder, while also resenting sharing Mommy's lap. If the way she responds in the church nursery while I hold other babies is any indication, we'll have a period of "adjustment" for sure! Maddie was only 19 months old when Eden was born and really never seemed jealous or resentful toward her. But Eden is very much a cuddle bug and is not nearly as independent as Madison, even though Maddie was younger. She'll be fine, though I know. It's probably going to be very good for her, in fact.

I'm nesting a bit... as the energy and/or time for it is available. The baby girl clothes have been retrieved from the basement, washed and put away, ready for a tiny princess to wear. It really is fun to look through those little outfits and remember the older girls wearing them, or who have them to us. The car seat cover has been laundered, and is waiting a ride to the hospital. A couple of fresh sheets for the crib, new packages of bottles and binkies, a couple adorable little bows made by a friend... all waiting patiently. The only one without patience is me, of course. ;)

This poor girl remains nameless. We're actually not discussing names much anymore. I guess we'll just wait until we met her...


Love,

A temporary goodbye

My mother in law, Christine and her husband of over 30 yrs.

This post is long over due. I know that. I asked you to pray for my mother in law while she was suffering with a serious illness and then never gave you a follow up. I've thought of doing so. Even sat down to do it... but could not type.





We said good bye to my mother in law a little over a week ago. Her soul departed for heaven on Thursday morning, shortly after midnight.





The previous day was spent going through many coarse hospitals tissues and praying for God to heal her. The LORD did answer our prayers and healed her in the way He knew best. She's now walking on streets of gold and singing praises to God. As we have been telling Madison, she has a huge smile on her face, and maybe she is even able to fly!





We're sad. We're shocked. Still. A week and 2 days later and I still find it unbelievable. She was so healthy and strong, and her decline happened so quickly. The only conclusion we can arrive at is that the Lord has a special purpose in mind. We have no regret regarding her care or decisions that were made. It seems very clear that no matter what doctors and medicine could do, the Lord had decided it was time for her to be with Him. Each of us know without a doubt that Christine was 100% ready to meet her Saviour. She had lived with utter contentment with whatever lot the Lord choose for her, and the timing of her death was no different. Her only concerns were to glorify the Lord and allow His will to be done in her life.

While we find peace and even gladness knowing where she is, and Whose company she is enjoying, we miss her terribly. There is a tremendous sense of loss in our lives. She was our pastor's wife, a mother of 5, a grandmother of 14 and a servant to everyone in her acquaintance. She left a remarkable example of a selfless and humble Christian.

Thank you for praying for her while she was ill. She is healed in every way now!

Here is the link to Christine's obituary: LEGACY


Love,