My favorite guy

We had a very nice Christmas this year... I hope you did too!

We had a nice Eve of Christmas Eve with extended family. The girls were spoiled rotten with gifts from Nana on Christmas Eve. And then Christmas morning, our little family read of Jesus' birth and opened our own gifts to each other. I had found a play kitchen for the girls to share on clearance way back in the summer so it was fun to FINALLY give that to them (Not as fun to assemble, however!) We had a nice Christmas morning service. The choir sang two songs, without much practice. he he he Always interesting... We stumbled only a little and it's completely allowed on Christmas. =)


We spent most of the day at my father in law's, enjoying a house full of family.

I was thinking back on what my favorite element of Christmas 2011 was, and though I had fun with relatives and received some nice little treasures for myself, I really think my husband was, and is, my very favorite part of Christmas. Not a particular gift (though he did give me several... and only one made to Christmas day! He can't help himself and gives me presents early all the time.)









He's just so very good to me. I could elaborate and make ya'll nauseated. But in a nutshell: he is thoughtful of me. Like all the time. He's hopelessly convinced that I'm attractive. Poor guy has terrible taste in women. He's nice. And considerate. And works hard. And has absolute integrity.

There is an age old problem with young couples having unrealistic expectations in marriage. You know what I mean... he thinks she'll look like a super model 2 seconds after delivering a baby. She thinks he'll jump to take out the trash the very instant it's full. Or whatever else people dream of and expect of their future/current spouses. Of course, the fact that she is a sinner and he is a sinner doesn't cross their mind. Somehow they dilute themselves into thinking a perfect marriage can result of two imperfect people. And so that is an issue dealt with (hopefully) at some point before or early on in marriages.

But you know what I've noticed among younger generations growing up and getting married? They don't have unrealistically high expectations: sometimes they have no or low expectations. In 2011, young people don't envision the marriages of Ozzie and Harriet. The envision the marriages of Raymond and Deborah on "Everybody Loves Raymond" or Kate and her husband with the 8 kids. I personally see more young couples forming views of marriage that says lying is fine and customary, sarcastic cutting remarks are normal, regularly scheduled fights are to be expected, fidelity is nice but a lot to ask, and each partner is entitled to their own approach to parenting, even if it conflicts with the others.

I've heard lots of wise people recommend losing our unrealistic expectations of a perfect marriage. but I also want to encourage young couples to have a dream for their marriage. Dont' let the unhappy couples you observe, whether in real life or on TV, lessen your hopes and dreams of what your marriage can be. Perfect? Of course  not! But not mean and selfish. No lying. Ever. Fidelity is absolutely expected. I'm not Harriet (thankfully...really don't love that name!) and Seth is no Ozzie. But overall, our marriage is a source of joy and a huge blessing to us, not a source of strife and a curse. And it's my hope that it always be will.




Love,

My Best Friend

Last Sunday, my Beloved and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. I know it's cliche. I know it sounds cheesy. But I really do believe our marriage gets better and better as time goes on. We know each other better, we appreciate each other more, we understand each other more, we communicate MUCH better, we simple enjoy each other more.

Seth is an amazing man. And frankly, I feel sorry for every other women in the world who isn't married to him. ☺ Seriously, he's wonderful.

When I was a teenager, I was so bored that I resorted to reading the celebrity biographies that my mom collected. Along with learning some weird non-useful information about Yul Brenner, I read something I've never forgotten. When George Burns was asked what  was the secret to his long, happy marriage to his wife Grace, he said the secret was being married to Gracie. She was the reason it worked. And that truly is the case with Seth and I. We're happy. We don't fight. We don't argue. We don't need breaks from each other. We don't belittle each other. And it's not because of me. I'm likely to pick fights. I'm pretty good at arguing. I can have a tongue so biting and belittling, you'd be shocked. But Seth just doesn't participate. Ever try to argue with yourself? It's boring. From the very start in our relationship, he has set a tone of peace and loving kindness.

Seth is a man of principle. This is probably his greatest attribute. On matters of right and wrong, he doesn't waver. Do I occasionally disagree on what is "right" and what is "wrong"? Yes, of course. But I'm happy to pass the buck to him, because I know that one day, he will stand before God and give an account for our family. I want him to have a great judgement day. If he chooses to err on the side of caution, I can find security in this. And there have been several instances when I initially thought he was being more conservative than necessary but later came to see a great deal of wisdom in the decision. And on those occasions where I feel like we're doing or not doing something that God would want, he's always very willing to hear me out. We both have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside us, after all. And then the rest of life's choices... the opinions and preferences... Seth is always willing to surrender his wants to mine, or our children's. Or just about anyone. Seth is slow to express opinions. I'm literally happy when he does so that I have an opportunity to do something the way he likes.


Also, it doesn't hurt that he's such a good loookin' guy. I mean, just look at him... you'd never guess he's had 3 children. ☺

 We enjoyed a delicious dinner out on our actual anniversary. Today, we took up a baby sitting offer from my husband's fantastic aunt and uncle, and went golfing together for the first time in way too long. (Last summer I was way too pregnant!)

As we headed to the course this morning, we both set goals for the 9 holes: Seth was aiming for 50 while I hoped for 90. Yes, I'm a bad golfer. I get the same score golfing and bowling. This is not good. But I do really enjoy golfing... with JUST Seth. I'm too self conscience to golf with other people. For one thing, I take a very long time, and another is that part of the correct golf stance is sticking your hiney out, which I try not to do in front of people, if I can at all help it.

 But after Seth snapped these pictures of me, I now have a new reason to never golf with anyone else. Just look at this expression on my face!

 We need a close up of this monstrosity:

 Wow. Please tell me I don't make this face all the time! I literally had no idea my face could even do this until I got the pictures off the camera. Scary! Wow. I'm abandoning all vanity to even post this but it's so comical yet freaky I must share it with the world. I really wasn't concentrating that hard!

Despite my face's look of consternation, we had a very relaxing, fun time. Not only did I reach my goal, I surpassed it! I got a 61! Yeah!!! This was the best I have ever done. Seth didn't do as well as he would have liked (52)... but he looked happy none the less:

The course was beautiful and quiet, and the temperature was absolutely perfect. By the time the heat of the day began to come, we were finishing up. Golfing is a great date; I highly recommend it. Get a couple cool drinks, snuggle as you ride the golf cart, give each other saucy, inappropriate names on the score card, and pretend you need his help with your swing (wink, wink).

I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries with my best friend!

Love,

Letting Him Lead

We're are still battling sickness here at the McCoy house. My brain is in a Sudafed induced fog, complicated by sleep deprivation. Since I do want to put up a new post, I am going to "recycle" some thoughts I wrote down in my journal several months ago... unless you really do want to hear about mucus, vomit, fevers and laundry...?

This was originally written to myself, and not for my blog, so some opinions may have seeped through. If you disagree with the idea of the husband being the head of the home, you may want to skip this post.


One of the first grade students in my class while I was student teaching was a delightful little boy full of sweet smiles and unintentional but hilarious little sayings. He was obedient, eager to please and, I will admit, my favorite student. One Sunday in the church foyer, I saw him with his entire family, which included four small children and his parents. From the first glance, it was obvious that his father was disabled. I later learned that he suffered a traumatic brain injury while serving in our armed forces. My husband was better acquainted with him and said that although he “wasn’t all there” and had several odd mannerisms from his injury, he was a man of character and was coherent enough to be aware of his disability and tried his best to live as normally as possible. They were quite a ways off so I began walking toward them to say hello to my little student. As I got close enough to hear their conversation, I overheard that there was a dilemma as to how to get all the children to their various Sunday School classes. The solution was fairly simple to me, and probably to most people; however to this father, it was a genuine concern. The mom did not do as I have seen, and unfortunately done many times. She did not confidently state the answer to their problem while thinking her husband was such a lucky guy for having a clever quick thinking wife like her. Instead, she nonchalantly made a statement. This statement started her husband’s thinking process in the right direction. For the next minute, the father “thought out loud”. He took a moment and verbalized what had taken me seconds to realize, finally arriving at the solution. He declared the plan of action and his wife smiled and agreed that it was a good idea. I never did greet my student that day because he never noticed me. He and his brothers and sister were too occupied staring up at what they believed to be the smartest man in the whole wide world. The little smiling faces reflected so much love that I remember the expressions 6 years later. And I stood staring at one the smartest women in the world.

Why are there so many men who are perfectly capable, in body and mind, to be the leaders of their home, but the wives shudder at the thought for fear that the sky would fall? Is it the gratification that we feel at being so “needed” to fix the family’s problems? Is it genuine concern that he would fail? Is it impatience in waiting for him to lead? Maybe he is trying but it doesn’t take the form and appearance that were think it is supposed to… his leadership doesn’t match the expectation we had pre-marriage. I don’t know. I examine myself constantly. I have a “let’s get it done!” personality. I am “gong ho” about everything I do. My husband is not. He is slow to speak, slow to action and slow to wrath. Those are three attributes I have been so frustrated by and at other times… more times the longer we are married… have been so thankful he possesses. I need some more “Seth” in me. But my natural tendencies verses my husband’s calmer, quieter manner makes me fearful of being a “hairy legged woman”. The truth is I hold way too much power over my husband. He REALLY loves me and wants to see me happy- so much so that I think I could lead him if I pushed hard and long enough. Except in matters of good and godliness. I am grateful to be able to confidently say that without a doubt, I could never get Seth to desert God. He has too much integrity for even me to destroy. How this is all connected, I am not sure! I just keep thinking of that brilliant lady, whom I have never spoken to or even know her first name. It would such a shame for me to have a husband full of health and vitality, soundness of mind, spiritually discerning and of pure character and NOT allow him to be the head of our home.