Is it Tuesday???

I am asked, "Is it Tuesday?" every single day by the older girls.

Of course it's the older girls asking. If Leila was asking, I'd be on TV showing off my talking 5 month old. I actually had a nightmare about Maddie talking when she was a newborn. In my dream, I was all excited about it and then my pediatrician gravely told me that it meant something was horribly wrong and we'd have to go the St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. Good thing it was just a dream...

Speaking of St. Jude's, I can NEVER watch their commercials EVER. I cry. A lot. Can't take it.

Anyway, back to "Is it Tuesday??" or as Eden says, "Is it Monday, Friday, Too-day or Sat-day? Nana comin' ov-a?" Because they really don't care about what the calender says; they just want to know if our weekly dinner guest will be coming over.

My mom always comes over to our house every Tuesday. I cook dinner (something low carb, diabetic friendly) and then my hunk of a man and I go on a little date for an hour and a half.

It's a wonderful tradition and I love it. So do the girls.

Last night, as I was finishing up dinner, my Mom was holding Leila and chatting with Seth and I. Somehow we got onto the subject of how I am somewhat of a weirdo in my family. Have you ever read the "Fancy Nancy" books? It's about a little girl who is quite fancy and girly and frilly, unlike the rest of her family. Her mom and her sister are more casual, sporty, not fancy. Well I am just like Fancy Nancy. I always begged for dresses when my mom was inclined to put me in jeans and t-shirts. I wanted my hair in 2 pigtails, just like a rock star as my Mom recalls. (I have no recollection.... or plead the 5th. Either way I can not confirm nor deny.)

I remember as a little girl having a friend about my age who was delightfully girly just like me. And her mom was too. In fact, her mom was so frilly that whenever I went to my friend's house, and if we were to go out somewhere, her mom would actually have me change my clothes. Because I didn't match most of the time. Like hardly ever. Now in my Mom's defense, she did not purposefully send her little girl out the door every day in mismatched outfits. I was very opinionated about what I would wear and if I declared I wanted to wear the purple stripped shirt with the green polka dots pants, my Mom let me have at it. (Not that I actually owned either of those particular articles of clothing, but just to give the idea.) In fact, once, Mom even let me wear my PJ shirt to school. She warned me I'd get teased. But I just knew everyone in the second grade was dying to see my totally awesome teddy bear PJ shirt and I would be an instant social success for being bold enough to wear it.

Mom was right on that one.

So while I do take responsibility for some disastrous wardrobe choices, many of my fashion blunders as a youngster were a result of these two words: Puff Paint*.

*3D fabric paint. Came in every color of the rainbow. My mom liked the glittery bright ones.

My mom was a puff painting maniac. She was THRILLED when we came home with a stain on our clothes. "That's the perfect spot for a puff paint flower!!!" For several Christmas', everyone in the family (and yes that includes grown men) received their very own customized, wearable work of art. My Uncle Dave was crazy about his black Hanes t-shirt with "Dave" written on the front left side and a clever little poem on the back of the shirt, telling the world that as much as he loved trains, he loved his wife more. Boy, do I wish I could remember that little poem...

And what did little Kayte's t-shirt say? You're gonna love it. And you're gonna be amazed that I was not beat up every single day at school.

It was yellow. The front left said "Kate." And the entire back of the shirt read:

"Future leader of the free world".

I'm not joking. Not even a little. As I shared this (now) amusing information with Seth last night, my mom STILL defends that yellow shirt. Apparently, my pre-school teacher prophesied that I was bound for the US Presidency. Just goes to show that you've really got to be careful about what kind of fluffy compliments you tell parents of pre-schoolers. Or... maybe.... maybe she was right! Hey, people, I can even run until I'm 35. I'm just killing time 'til then.

That is all. Just wanted to tell you about Mom's puff paints and my possible candidacy.

Love,

12 week ultra sound

Cute, right? ;)

I am super spoiled when it comes to the number of ultra sounds I am given in my pregnancies. When pregnant with Maddie, I literally had 17 or 18 ultra sounds by the time she was born. Basically, the reason for the sky rocketing costs of health care is spoiled rotten mamas like me. ;) I love them!!! If I could, I would have an ultra sound every single day. I just love seeing the little peanuts moving around and their little heart puttering steadily. It's sort of amazing to be able to view this tiny little world contained inside my tummy.

This ultra sound was a level two, which shows more detail, so I went to a city about an hour away to have it performed. We have done this with my past 3 pregnancies so that a special test called a Nuchal Translucency Screen, can be done. In my lay person terms, it's a way of measuring the area in the back of the baby's neck. What they look for is too much fluid or too large of an area.

What I copied from somewhere online:

The NT test uses ultrasound to measure the clear (translucent) space in the tissue at the back of your developing baby's neck. Babies with abnormalities tend to accumulate more fluid at the back of their neck during the first trimester, causing this clear space to be larger than average.

We were sent to see a genetic counsellor after losing our second baby and we also meet with her at this ultra sound appointment. On our first visit over 4 years ago, she took an exteneive family history from both Seth and I, and tested DNA from both of us. Neither of us carried genetic mutations, which was a relief, of course. Since then, we see her once a pregnancy for prenatal tests. Its sort of nice to see the same person, even if just once in each pregnancy, over again. She remembers our history and our girls and is just a super sharp doctor. She reviews the NT screen, and combines it with information gained from blood screens to assess our risk of having another baby with a chromosome abnormality.

The NT looked great, as did other parts of the anatomy. I did the first stage of the blood screen yesterday as well, and will complete the series in a couple of months.

My sister in law, Tara, went with me since Seth couldn't get away from church yesterday. It was fun to have gal pal with me. I think she may never ride with me ever again since I am personally responsible for every "bad woman driver" joke ever told. We also went to lunch and had our cell phones turned off so I call that a GOOD DAY!! =)

Are you wondering why I consent to all the prenatal testing? I just want to state very clearly that we would never ever terminate any pregnancy based on results indicating a deformation. We would never terminate for any reason at all. I'm sure you all knew that but sometimes I think people assume that if you are willing to go through all these tests it means you might be willing to abort based on the results (which by the way, can be incorrect!). I just had to be clear about that.

So why do we do this? Does it mean that we don't trust God with our babies?

I personally don't see it that way. I know many good people who do see prenatal testing as a lack of faith but I must respectfully disagree.

When we were first offered our first prenatal test with our first pregnancy, my first thought was "What does it matter? We want the baby anyway." and I said as much to my midwife. And what she said pretty much sums up the reason I like to have the prenatal screening that is available. She said that the more we know about problems that baby may have in advance the more prepared we can be for their care. The delivery of a special needs baby can be very different than a healthy baby. Special measures can be taken to prevent further problems. Important equipment and staff can be nearby. In our case, we deliver at a small hospital without a neonatal unit. So if we knew of a problem in advance, we could plan to deliver in a more suitable hospital. No air lifting a newborn, no separate hospitals for me and baby, etc.

And aside from being medically prepared, there is emotional, financial and mental preparedness.

My personal rule of thumb for prenatal tests is that anything involving risk to the baby is not an option. So blood tests and ultra sounds: sure. Amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling: no thank you.

Something to keep in mind with the non-invasive tests, which is all that I will consent to, is that they are not 100% accurate. A problem can go undetected, and a problem that isn't actually there can show up in the results. I have had a few friends who have had scary results which had them very concerned for the rest of their pregnancy. In every case, the baby was perfectly healthy. So the risk we take is living with a "bad" test result that may or may not be true. In my opinion, that is the fact that expectant parents have to consider and decide if they can live with.

The particular series that I am doing with this pregnancy (and it is so amazing how things change so much between each pregnancy and mine haven't been more than 2 years apart so far)
combines results form the NT and the two blood screening and between all that will give a 90% rule out of several serious conditions. I am personally okay with that. I understand that there are no guarantees and ultimately God will give us the baby He wants us to have. We love the little peanut just how he or she is.

I hope I haven't been controversial or offensive in this post. I only wanted to explain that agreeing to prenatal testing is not necessarily a matter of trusting God or not. With our living children, if we suspect an illness, do we lack faith if we take them to the doctor to get a diagnosis, and possibly treatment? And just as there is not always a "cure" for birth defects, so many of the illnesses our little ones get don't really have a cure either. We just like to know what the problem is so that we can at least we aware and take whatever action we can take, even if that action is simply a more specific prayer.

Likewise, I completely understand people choosing not undergo prenatal tests. This is not a "right vs. wrong" issue in my mind.

"For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb."

Psalm 139:13

Love,

Our Year in Photos

Our year in photos. Many photos are poor quality due to my hard drive's untimely death. I'm grateful to have them at all, even if they are grainy! It's about 7 minutes long. Enjoy!

Meet Madison

The next family member to introduce to you is Madison Anise. She just turned 3 yrs. old and is a lot of fun to be around... well, most of the time! And when she isn't, a nap usually helps turn things around!

Maddie is like me in a lot of ways. She is extremely stubborn. When she reached about 14 mos. old, if I said the sky was blue, she said it was red. She has her own ideas about everything. For a few desperate months, I did not know what to do with her. I thank God for direction in the area of child training. She has made great strides in obeying and being more agreeable for which I am so thankful. I can not think of anything that I have put more effort into and wanted so desperately. That may sound dramatic but I think a parent of a strong willed child will understand what I mean. She still retains some contrary tendencies but I think some things will just be a part of her personality that I must accept. After all, I know exactly who (me!) she gets it from. You can be assured that if I pull out a new dress that she has never worn before, she will hate it and not want to wear it. After being forced a few times, she will begin to get that dress out herself, declaring how pretty it is. She just needs to warm up to every new idea or change of routine. It's only been in the last few months that she has not screamed like a banshee when Seth and I leave the girls with my mom for our date night. My mom baby sat for over a year before Maddie would not be devastated. I'm sure the neighbors thought a murder took place at our house every Tuesday night!

Another quality she has, which reminds me of myself, is her independent spirit. Brushing teeth, going potty, buckling her seat belt, getting dressed, putting on shoes, opening the door, the list goes on and on. "I can do it! I can do it!!" And you know what? I actually like this characteristic! It's great to be able to tell her go get herself dressed and ready to go while I do other things! She is surprisingly strong. She seems to have some her Seth's natural agility ('cause it most definitely did NOT come from me!). Since her most frequent play mates are her older cousins (mostly boys) it's a good thing that she's somewhat tough! At the same time, she very beautiful. Her dreamy blue-green eyes, thick dark lashes and vibrant smile makes me stop so often and think My goodness, child... you are gorgeous! Of course what you see in the photos I post is her cheesy fake smile... I don't know that I have every gotten her real genuine joyful smile in a photo. Such a shame!

She is a nervous creature. She is very uncomfortable in crowds and is quite unsocial at church. This we are, and have been, working on for a long time. It is rude not to answer an adult who speaks to you. Progress is slow.... Going to the pediatrician is a major ordeal. She gets anxious just walking into the building. The exam is something like trying to get a enraged bull to let you look in it's ears and listen to it breathe. She is downright distraught during the whole thing and will talk about it for days after. We discuss exactly what the doctor will do and how Dr. Taylor is our friend and all that for days before hand. She told me this past time that she would not get nervous but of course, she did. Now she is saying that next time she will not be scared. Maybe I need a pediatrician who does exams under sedation? A little baby Prozac? When we go to story time at the library, will cling to me while Eden pets the man dressed as Clifford. Encouraging her to be friendly or go do what the other kids are doing seems to only make it worse. I will just have to accept her as a shy person. All I ask is that she be respectful and not rude.

She loves to sing, and sing LOUDLY. The words end up being repetitious none sense. Going down the aisles in the super market, she'll be "singing" away, with the only phrases that one can discerned being "God hates our sin!!!" and other pleasant sentiments. How about the itsy bitsy spider, Maddie!?!!!!

Today she told me that soon she will be 5 and than she can go to college.

While standing at the kitchen counter next to me as I was cooking, she asked if she could help. I often let her stir or pour, etc. but this time I was cutting raw chicken and said no, because she wasn't old enough. She accepted that and waited a few minutes before informing me that she was now older and ready to use the knife.

When she first heard the phrase "No way, Jose!" she started saying it "No way, Horsey!" and said it that way for about a year.

When Seth comes home, he would greet her with "Hey Maddie-licious!" so she started making up ridiculous nicknames for both of us all the time. Just whatever random thing popped into her mind: "Hey Candy Bar!" "Hey Meat Roll!" "Hey Chicken Boo!" Obviously, this weird stuff comes from her father. ;)

Today I told her, "I love you, Maddie" and she gave me a kiss and said, "Me, too!"

She calls helicopters "hel-planes".

She is at a great age. She is able to reason (most of the time), is making logical connections, learning new concepts everyday, is affectionate, is growing leaps and bounds in her gross motor skills, her sense of humor is keeping us entertained, she is beginning to show concern for other people's well being, and can remember that certain actions bring good results and certain actions bring poor results. She is also, unfortunately, realizing that mommy can not see her every move and she may possibly be able to get away with something if she's real sneaky. I'm going to start praying every day that she will caught when she does wrong.

I have truly enjoyed watching her imagination develop. What fun to watch her take some objects and pretend they are something completely different and be engrossed in that make believe world. She enjoys crafts and making things and helping me cook. She wants to do what adults do. And I like that! She has been helping me put away laundry and dishes since she could walk and is a genuine help now. She can fold her own clothes and knows just where they belong. If things are in disorder in her drawer, she either fixes it or if it's big jumble, will ask me to help her "or-gam-ize". She can pick up toys and sort them into the correct places as well as I can. Of-course somedays that doesn't happen. She likes to feel needed and appreciated. And I figure that with a few more girls, I will have an early retirement as keeper of this house! ; )

Meet Seth

Being that I am a "Nosey-Rosey" who likes to hear about other people's families, especially the families of the writers of blogs I follow... I thought it might be fun to introduce you to each member of our little family. And even if it's of no interest to anyone else at all, I just feel like writing short biographies of each of them! So, let's begin with my handsome husband, Seth. This portrait was taken for church literature, and I think he looks really young here... but don't be fooled... he turns 28 next month. I know right... he's getting up there! Might as well just round up to 30. ;) You may not be able to see it here, but the day before these photos were taken, he was accidentally poked in the eye while playing basketball... it was very red and irritated. Nothing like having church portraits with an Assistant Pastor who looks like he was in bar fight! Of-course, I was 8 mos. pregnant and bloated, so I wasn't about to make fun of him!

Seth is the youth pastor at our church, Harts Hill Baptist Church in Whitesboro, NY. His duties include being the principle of our very small academy. One day I will write a post all about being a youth pastor's wife. For now, let's just say that I eat pizza way too much!

My husband grew up in a Pastor's home, the youngest of 5 children. His middle name is Isaac, but I am convinced that the middle initial "I" actually stands for "Integrity". He is the definition of "Mr. Steady". Complete with a corny sense of humor, oodles of natural athleticism and a general knowledge of all things construction, carpentry and mechanical. Any time our family gathers, he is found wrestling on the floor with our nephews (and our daughters jumping on top on the dog pile). He enjoys golf and just about every sport, and is competitive but never brags or shows poor sportsmanship. We are casual Yankees and Bills fans... although watching the Bills is more frustration than enjoyment most of the time. I say "casual" because Seth really doesn't get fanatical about it. He just keeps up on the stats and watches a game on Sunday afternoon.

He's a fantastic daddy. He plays with the girls almost every moment that he's with them. He's the diaper changing kind of daddy... although when we were expecting the first time, he insisted that he wasn't going to be changing any diapers. I incredulously said, "You're going to make me change every single diaper all of our children have?" "No," he assured me, "My mom will change some". Thankfully, he was only joking.

We were married on June 26, 2004. We met at Hyles Anderson College when I was 16 yrs. old and he was 18. His sister was good friends with one of my good friends, and thus a friendship was made, which eventually... and I do mean eventually... led to more. It took him forever to ask me out! Of-course, I wasn't very patient. Once he did decide to date me, he simultaneously decided that he wanted to marry me as well. He didn't come right out and say that, but it was somehow made obvious, and that freaked my 17 yr. old (by then) self out! I got counsel and told this eager beaver to slow things down. Well... habits of seeing each other too often had already been formed so the "slow down" thing didn't happen. So I broke it off. *sigh* 11 months later, with maturity gained by both of us, we commenced our dating... this time sensibly and with God's direction. 2 1/2 yrs. later, we were married!

Some facts about Seth:

~ He loves peanut butter... he slaps some on Oreos, chips, carrots, celery, ice cream. If we run out of Jiffy Creamy, a state of emergency is declared!

~ He doesn't like pie. Weird, right?

~ He hates soda. He only drinks water, tea, coffee and juice.

~ He has an super charged sense of smell. A sharpie marker, nail polish, paint, Pine Sol, etc. bothers him to no end.

~ He is 5'11" and weighs 157 lbs. I've tried for 5 yrs to fatten him up... not happening.

~ He sings bass wonderfully!

~ He has a strategy for everything and he's always calculating numbers in his head.

He's a great guy and I love him bunches! I don't know why God gave me such a wonderful man, but I'm glad He did!

Just An Ordinary Day...

When I woke up this morning, my first thought was “Oh, what a good night’s sleep!” With illness consuming our lives for the past solid week, this was the first night in far too long that we all slept straight through the night. And it felt so good! By this time, Seth had been long gone, but I do have groggy memories of cuddling with him before he left for school. He must have come home between early morning prayer meeting at 5 am, and when he leaves for school at 6:45 am.
I had a few minutes to myself to lie in bed and pray before I could hear Eden’s fussing. She and I cuddled in the living room, her with a board book and me with my Bible. Soon, Maddie emerged, with a bit of a sour disposition. I got the girls some cereal and juice and seated them for breakfast. Maddie was still being contrary and did not want food, just juice. The juice was put back in the refrigerator until she could speak without whining. Within about 10 minutes, she was sitting down with her cereal, and the grumpiness was gone. Eden had already been eating for a few minutes by the time Maddie was ready to dig in, and Maddie chided Eden for starting without praying first. I thought that was kind of funny!

In their room playing after breakfast:

Brush teeth, dress the girls, do their hair. That was enough activity to warrant a juice break, and coffee break for mommy!

The girls sat down for Madison’s breathing daily breathing treatment. When Eden went to the kitchen, retrieved a wash clothe and carefully put it over her feet, I took the hint and got her some socks!

Then coloring for a while. I absolutely love these “Color Wonder” markers from Crayola… the fun of markers without the fear of a mess.

It was 10am by now and Eden was ready for a nap. She is transitioning between two naps to one nap so she does not always take a morning nap. But today, she went right down, giving me a chance to jump on the elliptical machine for some much needed exercise. I had taken all last week off… I know they say to keep exercising when you’re sick but I just could NOT do it! And then a shower. I am still not brave enough to take a shower and leave both the girls out and about the house, so I like to do this while Eden naps, or if she does not nap, I bring her in the shower with me. Maddie picked out a movie to watch, Audrey Hepburn’s Sabrina, and kept coloring.

After my shower, I got out an inexpensive pre-school book I recently found for Maddie to work through. The first page was focused on following simple directions and coloring certain pictures red. Maddie does know most of the colors, but she was just not in a very studious mood. Her coloring ended up being random scribbles so we put the workbook away. Maybe I’ll try again in a few months. She is BARELY 3 years old, so no worries. She can recognize all the letters and knows most of their sounds. However, coloring within the lines is not a skill she possesses yet. During this time, she made her usual request for hot chocolate… you give a girl hot chocolate ONE TIME while her sister naps and from then on, she thinks Eden’s nap equals hot chocolate time!

At about 12:30 each day, Seth comes home for lunch. It’s always a moment full of excitement as the girls run to the back door as soon as they hear him! Madison has a long standing tradition of getting Daddy’s Bible for him, and Eden is happy to take whatever else he’s holding… lately, his gloves.

Welcoming / attacking Daddy:

After a quick lunch, we took a trip to Barns and Nobles because I have realized that Maddie has out grown all of our books. They are all board books and too baby-ish for her. We purchased one beautiful book about Thanksgiving, but mostly got ideas of what books to look for on eBay. The idea of buying several new books makes a big CHA-CHING sound in my head! If anyone is wondering what to get Maddie for Christmas: BOOKS!

It’s such a sunny nice day, although a bit cold when the cold picks up. We bundled up and went for a short walk. Maddie is a speed demon on her tricycle! Eden is still not feeling 100% but I do think she enjoyed riding in the stroller and getting some fresh air and sun on her skin. I was amused as we took our walk over Seth’s eagerness to teach Maddie “right” and “left”… there seems to be certain areas that are important to him for our kids to know. And directions are one of them!

With Eden acting ready for another nap, we came home and tucked her in. I read our new book to Maddie, who was extremely interested in it! YEAH! I’m always so disappointed if I pick something out thinking that she will love it and it turns out not to be the case! But every picture evoked questions for her and every answer I gave seemed to lead to another question. It was so fun, and I think by Thanksgiving, she (hopefully) will know that it is not just about pie (however important pie is!!).

Seth then left to assist an elderly man in our church. He likes to take Maddie with him to do this because the gentleman enjoys her company and Maddie always feels honored to go off with just Daddy. So with Eden sleeping, and Maddie whisked away with Daddy, I had some free time to enjoy. I opened the refrigerator and cupboard in search of something tempting but could not stand the thought of another fun sized candy bar or wheat cracker. Must do more grocery shopping this week!

With Seth and Maddie home about dinner time, Maddie absolutely needed a nap. She doesn't take a nap every day anymore but coming off this bad flu, she was very tired. So Seth and I ate dinner while they finished their naps, then they ate when they woke up. Kitchen clean up, with the girls helping empty the dish washer, then bath time. A quiet evening home relaxing, then off to make more ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz's. On most Tuesday evenings, my mom comes over to eat dinner with us and babysit they girls for a while so that Seth and I can have a little date. But we've been sick and my mom is still settling into her new apartment, so we postponed. Today was a very very mellow day... probably not as typical as it should be to be considered "ordinary", but low key enough for me to record a normal day in our life at this stage. Maybe some day years from day, we will read this and cherish every detail. Or maybe it'll be just as boring then as it was to read today! ;)

My pastor said something in a sermon recently about building a life is like building a house: one brick at a time. One small choice followed by another followed by another. A few big decisions thrown in along the way, but it’s mostly small things which make up our lives. I suppose I could say that the big choices for us, have already been made as far as we can see right now. The “framework” and “foundation” is already in place. We are Christians and will try to live accordingly. We want our lives to count for the cause of Christ. That automatically means some things are paramount in our daily lives, and some things can not be a part of it. We will live off one income so that I can be home with them. We will do whatever and go wherever the Lord leads. These are the easy choices… these big elements, decided not day to day but established years ago, are the framework, and the Lord and His Word are the foundation. The “bricks”… the daily grind, are the small elements that in reality add up to be what our children will remember. These bricks will enhance the framework, or distract from it. I believe I could I even say that these bricks will validate the foundation and framework.

Recording today’s events and each small choice made, I can see where I have neglected to think through some choices, particularly in the morning hours that the girls and I spend alone at home. Too much time spent chatting via email or FaceBook… although only a moment here and there throughout the day, it adds up to a giant waste of time. Maddie’s daily movie habit. Giving instructions to the girls more than one time without following through with discipline if they do not obey right away. Not planning ahead better with grocery shopping so that I don't have to ask Seth to run out for one ingredient for dinner. Overall, I think our days are great. Some days are much busier and chaotic than today, of course. The morning hours that the girls and I spend at home do not always go so smoothly. The great night’s sleep we enjoyed last night probably contributed the most to how pleasant our morning was today… that and I did not attempt to cram ALL cleaning and housework in one morning.

Our life is a happy life.

"Just an ordinary day" was a theme prompted by A thousand words... and then some.

Do you know my husband?

I love him. I really really love him. I almost feel sorry for every other wife in the world because you are not married to Seth McCoy. Okay, okay... am I making you nauseous yet?

Let me introduce him to you. His name is Seth I. McCoy. The “I” stands for Isaac, according to his birth certificate but I know the truth: it actually stands for “integrity”. He is the same man on Sunday morning that he is 24 hours of each and every day. His compass of right and wrong is always on and ready to discern, even in those murky situations that make me think twice. He is HONEST in every way.



He is “Mr. Steady” (for those who have read Created to be his Helpmeet, you know the full definition of that term). There is never an excuse on his lips and he never grants himself permission to not be what he ought to be. A good day, or a bad day, Seth is always dependable. Always willing to do whatever he can to make my day, and probably yours if he knows you, better. He is FAITHFUL.

He is a gentleman… the old fashioned kind that is hard to find in 2009. I am SPOILED. Will you hate me if I confess that I never one time pumped my own gas since I have been married. Okay, once I did while on a church ladies’ trip but it really more for fun than necessity. These spaghetti arms of mine are weak for a reason: I carry very little; I open few doors. I had better stop lest I make every other husband in America look bad.



Honestly, he’s as good as they get. The typical scenario for couples is that before the “I Do’s” are said, he is perfect in her eyes. Even his flaws, if she sees them, are cute to her. If he says the earth is flat, she whole heartedly agrees. And then, marriage… ah, and then… disappointment. He is not all that she thought him to be. I testify of being fortunate enough, blessed enough, to have experienced the opposite. He impresses me more and more the longer I know him. I was an immature Christian in a lot of ways when Seth and I got married. I’ve learned so much about the attributes of a Christian and believe (and hope) he has rubbed off on me in the past 5+ years.

I think that I understand him better in recent days. In our college days and for the first few years of our marriage, I was perplexed at why he did certain things, and mostly why he didn’t do other things. Seth does not run toward promotion or title or accolades. He will only accept a position of responsibility and leadership if he within himself believes God to want it. No “wifely persuasion” will do. For a long time, my selfish motives would question this and did not fully understand it. I thought any young preacher would be delighted to have an expanded arena of influence. I thought it would be great to have others recognize his potential and ability. I wanted him to put on the outward image that so many ministry workers do: I have it together. I am being used by God. I have arrived. I hope that doesn’t sound critical. Only God knows the motives of another. I just mean to say that Seth has never been interested in impressing people with great numbers on a church bus route or with an articulate sermon or any other ability. In college, he had a bus route that was probably quite unimpressive to some. But here we are, over 5 years later, and he still gets letters and phone calls from several of the teenagers (now young adults) that rode his small bus route in Joliet, IL to a church 45 minutes away. He never won a single attendance contest. Never even came close. But that doesn’t matter to me anymore, and it never mattered to Seth. Several years later, about 5 of “his kids” know who they can call when they need a friend on the other end of the line. And again, no criticism is intended… great numbers on a church bus route is awesome. Each of those numbers represents a soul. All I mean to say is that I am learning from my husband, that this life is not about me, or you, or each other and how we appear in one another’s eyes.

Much of my efforts in my Christian walk have been about producing glory for myself. I’m ashamed to admit that. But from the time I became a Christian at 9 yrs. old until today (and I turn 26 tomorrow!) I have sought to have an impressive resume before other Christians. I want to end that trend in my life. I want the rest my days to be about bringing glory to the One who actually deserves it.

“My soul doth magnify the Lord”